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Rhyme For Your Life
Rhyme For Your Life 1997 VHS # Rhyme For Your Life # 2014 July 19 # House of Mirrors # 2019 April 6 # Fiffteen ---- ---- Synopsis by Dave. Yet another I thought was stupid the first time, and am gradually warming up to, I suppose. Comments by Dave, Esmeraude, George4Browne, and Aonarr.---- Mr. Ratburn is getting ready to put on a puppet show based on the collected works of Poe, and is testing out the stage he built. Outside, Arthur and Buster are waiting outside the tent, eating ice cream cones. This appears to be the same sort of fair where they first found out Mr. Ratburn put on puppet shows. Arthur thinks that this upcoming show of Ratburn's will be great. Buster says he'll go in and save them some seats. As Buster leaves, a mysterious cloaked stranger puts his hand on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur gasps and wheels around. It's Binky, in a hooded cloak and clutching a wooden staff. Arthur notes Binky's outfit and asks if he's part of the show. Binky looks ill, or he may be suffering from a lack of sleep. He takes Arthur's hand and leads him behind some tents. Binky: (mysteriously) Come here. Give me your ear. I'll tell you a tale... that... will fill you with fear. Arthur wants to get back to the puppet show. Binky is getting theatrical, acting like a grizzled old man. Binky: It happened long ago, in a land far away. I was shopping for my Mom just before her birthday. Arthur: I thought that was last week. Binky gets enraged at him for interrupting, but does it in rhyme. Binky points his staff at Arthur and says that he doesn't interrupt Arthur when he talks. Binky gets back to his story. Arthur says ok, ok... he sits down on a stump and asks why Binky is speaking in rhyme. Binky: All will be clear to he who sits, and listens for (and his face fills up the screen) eleven min-its. ---- ---- Binky was out shopping for his Mom. He wanted to get her some fancy chocolates at "Gulk's Candy". However, when he found out the price of ones he wanted $32.50) he had to alter that plan, having only five dollars. He bought a small amount of chocolate instead, and figured that at least he had enough money to get Mom a nice card. He walked to the card store next door, a store called "Take Note". Inside, Binky read a card to himself. "You make me glad when I feel crummy, I'm so glad that you're my Mummy". The card had a picture of a little girl hugging an Egyptian mummy on it. Inside, it said "Happy Birthday". Binky: Yuck... Binky put the card back on the rack. Then he saw Muffy, out shopping for a card for the Crosswire's chauffeur, Bailey. She was in luck because they had cards just for chauffeurs. Binky said that he was having a hard time finding one for his Mom's birthday. Muffy was shocked to hear that, feeling that buying a card for one's mother was a tacky thing to do. She suggested he make his own. Binky told her that he was no good at writing. Muffy then went on to say that when she said "make your own", she didn't mean that he had to do it -- he could pay someone to do it. Binky went to the library and tried to get Fern to write him a poem. As payment, he'd give her his great sandwich with only one bite out of it) and he'd even include the pickle. Fern refused, saying that poems are personal things, and that the words have to come from inside you. Binky says he's no good at rhyming, and that all that's inside him is what was in the bite of sandwich he had. All's not lost though -- Fern hands Binky a poetry anthology and suggests he read it to get inspiration. This is how Buster and Arthur thought they could write poems. Binky sits on his couch and writes poetry, having read some of the poetry anthology. Binky: Mother dear, I love you so, if I bang my head, I can smell my toe. Binky realizes that this poem doesn't make any sense. He crumples up the piece of paper with that particular poem on it and throws it into the corner, where there are already a number of failed attempts. Binky grumbles that the poets in the poetry anthology are no help at all. Binky: I couldn't make a rhyming poem if my life depended on it. Binky flicks on the TV using the remote. A black and white Frankenstein movie is on. Note that Frankenstein looks um, human-y. Mom comes in and drapes a blanket around Binky. Mom: Cozy, sweetums? Binky yawns as she goes back into the kitchen, and in a half-asleep voice, says that he's a terrible son. He falls asleep, still watching the movie. Binky wakes up. He's lying on the ground on a dirt road in a forest, and it's the middle of the night. Binky gets up off the ground, and wonders what happened to his comfy chair. His blanket is on the ground next to him. Suddenly a Victorian era coach drawn by a horse comes down the road towards him. Francine's the driver. Binky yells "Hey" and flags it down. Francine: Whoa, slow. The coach stops. Binky walks up to the coach. Binky: Excuse me, could you tell me where I am? Francine: Verseberg of course, step away from the horse. From a window in the coach, a curtain is opened, and a head peers out to see why the coach has stopped. It's a very regal looking Muffy. Muffy: You should be indoors, the curfew's at nine. And don't you know, it's a crime not to rhyme? She draws the curtain closed. Francine: Giddyup, Buttercup. And a crack of Francine's whip, the coach continues down the road. Binky: Oh, great. This is a rhyming nightmare. Binky starts walking through the forest. Binky: Why couldn't I have just had the one where I'm being digested by a giant clam? Probably because you didn't have that nightmare, Binky, see #50102 - "Double Dare".'' Binky could have suggested he remembers the "giant cheeseburger" nightmare. Binky bumps into a girl in a dress and a bonnet, who's gathering berries and nuts in a basket. This turns out to be Clementine, who looks like D.W.. Clementine is the daughter of Doctor Rhymenstein. Binky says he's sorry, and then makes it into a rhyme, by saying "Charlie". She says that's not her name, and that perhaps he needs glasses. He must not be from around here. Clementine: Are you a stranger? You must be in danger! You'd better come with me, immediately! She grabs his hand and takes Binky to her home. Her home is a creepy castle on a hill. As they go up the hill and Clementine tells Binky about her pets -- she used to have bees, but now has a toad, something purple growls and peers at them from behind some dead trees. Only we can only see its arms at this point. Inside the castle, Doctor Rhymenstein (Mr. Ratburn) and Clementine have dinner with Binky. The doctor offers Binky peas, "or perhaps a slice of cheese". The doctor tells Binky, in rhyme, that he's glad of company as all the villagers avoid him now. That's because of the monster he created. Binky: Monster?! Clementine and Doctor Rhymenstein look at Binky, anticipating the rhyme he should say. Binky: I mean, Oh! No! Doctor Rhymenstein gets up from the table and starts explaining. Doctor Rhymenstein: Yes, I wanted to make a thing of beauty. But I used the wrong voltage and it all went kerplooie! Suddenly, like a demented Kool Aid Man, through the wall crashes a large growling purple spherical monster with arms, legs, and a face. Doctor Rhymenstein says that this is the monster, the Purple Orange. It's always angry because it has no rhyme for its name. The doctor tells Clementine and Binky to head for the hills while they still have time. Then the Purple Orange grabs the doctor and swallows him in one gulp. After patting its stomach, it walks over to Clementine and picks her up. Purple Orange: Mmmm, friend. Clementine: Put me down, you brute. I don't even like normal fruit! The Purple Orange ignores her and carries her off, back through the hole in the wall he created when he came in. Clementine: Let me go, you purple foe! Binky looks up from where he's been hiding behind the table. * * * Binky goes to the police station, where Fern is the police chief/inspector on duty. She waves a donut at him and gruffly tells him to tell her what happened. Binky attempts to start telling her what happened in rhyme, but realizes he's no good at it, so he just tells her basically what happened, without rhyming. Fern calls for Hans and Frans. The Tibbles, dressed like Victorian French policemen, escort Binky to a jail cell. Binky doesn't understand. Fern: Insufficient poetry... is a class D felony! She tells Hans and Frans to take the "bum" to "cell number one". Then she points at Binky's stomach. Fern: ...You expect me to believe that that's all fat? I bett ''you ate the doctor, and his little brat! Hans and Frans tell Binky to "move it, Bub, or we'll use the club!" Binky is put into a jail cell, where there already is one prisoner, a balding cat guy with glasses in a jacket and plus fours. As Hans and Frans walk away, Binky asks them if he isn't at least entitled to a phone call, or a lawyer. Binky's fellow prisoner tells him, not in rhyme, that in Verseberg, they don't have phones, only snail mail. The man introduces himself as William Carlos Williams. Binky introduces himself. Binky asks if William is in for the same crime as he is, not rhyming. William says that no, he can rhyme, and demonstrates: William: Slime, sublime, waste of time... William says he's a political prisoner, as he choses not to rhyme. He grabs hold of the bars in the cell and shouts out "Free Verse! Free Verse!". Then he abandons doing this, telling Binky that nobody listens... Binky takes all this in. William Carlos Williams was a doctor in New Jersey who wrote free verse poetry, but he did not believe he was a great poet. William looks around the cell as Binky stares into the tunnel. William says it would be good if they had a set of wheels. He looks at a some books, a marble bust on a pedestal, and then at a wheelbarrow. Aha. From out of a drainage tunnel which flows into a river appear Binky, wheeling along a wheelbarrow with William sitting in it. As they make it out into the sunlight, Binky says his arms are killing him. William says Binky's lucky he's not Sylvia Plath. William: ...she's a heavy poet... Sylvia Plath was a famous poet, her was married to British poet Ted Hughes. She continued to write even as she became mentally ill, making her work "heavy"... She committed suicide in 1963. Binky climbs up out of the drainage tunnel, which is only a channel once it reaches the open, and onto a grassy bank. Binky grumbles that he's sure he'll meet her... he's going to bump into someone who will notice he can't rhyme, and then he'll be back in jail! Binky sits down on a rock. William gets out of the wheelbarrow and walks over to Binky. William says that Binky will get the hang of rhyming, and gives him something useful, his old rhyming dictionary. William tells Binky to find the Purple Orange and clear his name. William: ...then people will know who's really to blame! William then clutches the side of his head! Oh no, now he's starting to rhyme. It's gotten to him. He leaves. Binky gets a determined look on his face as he clutches the rhyming dictionary.' With the rhyming dictionary in one hand, and a wooden staff in the other, Binky walks through a field of tall grass, past cows that go "moo", and walks on through the night, through a forest with an owl in it that goes "whoo", and past a farm the next morning, where a rooster goes "cock-a-doodle-doo". Having walked for such a long time, Binky looks tired. Or perhaps he just doesn't like rhyming animal sounds. Binky sees a farmer, Buster) carrying a basket of eggs. Food. Binky has a go at communicating with the farmer. Binky: Mister, can I have an egg? (the farmer stops and looks at him) Um, my name (Binky is leafing through the rhyming dictionary) is... Meg? I'm from win... Winnipeg... (Binky confidently shuts the book) Don't make me beg! Apparently, it's not the quality of the rhyme that counts, and it doesn't even have to be truthful. Farmer Buster smiles and holds out the basket to Binky, who takes a few of the eggs. Binky is walking across a barren Arctic landscape. There's a snowstorm happening. Binky is still walking along with the staff, dressed in his regular street clothes. Binky: Can't feel my toes, or fingers, or nose. Binky realizes he's getting the hang of rhyming, and is pleased with himself. He then encounters the camp of the Purple Orange. The Purple Orange is feeding some seals by tossing them food out of a bucket, while D.W. eats rubbery blubber by a campfire. Binky is pleased to spot Clementine. The Purple Orange hears him, and wheels around, growling. Binky and Clementine back away, so that they are standing underneath a cliff. Clementine is not pleased at how her rescue is going. She doesn't think Binky stands a chance. Clementine: Great, now after he eats you, we'll need a bigger igloo. The Purple Orange draws near and growls at them. Binky growls louder, causing an avalanche on the hill above him. The snow drops down over the side and crushes the Purple Orange, as Binky and Clementine get out of the way in the nick of time. Hooray. Binky that that was a "barbaric yawp", and that he learned it from Walt Whitman. This comes from the work "Songs of Myself" by Walt Whitman: "...I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable, I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world." We see the carcass of the dejuiced, defunct Purple Orange on a cart in the center of Verseberg. The townspeople are all gathered in the town square, pleased the the purple menace is no more, and consider Binky a hero. Fern the police chief gives a speech and makes a presentation to Binky: Fern: For killing the monster, and setting us free,From the crowd, Farmer Buster hoists a tankard of a purple drink aloft. Buster: ...and turning him into delicious fruit tea... Fern: The people of Verseberg present you with this mounted barracuda, caught by our founder, the great Pablo Neruda.Pablo Neruda was a Chilean poet who won the 1971 Nobel Prize in Literature. She presents Binky with the mounted fish on a plaque. The people cheer and toss hats in the air. Binky wakes up from his dream. He shuts off the TV, saying the dream was incredible. He decides to write it all down, and give it to his Mom, as she'll love it. Then he yawns. He elects to wait until tomorrow to write it down. The next morning, sitting in bed with notepad at the ready, Binky can't remember any of the poetry dream. He thinks there was a castle in it, and a giant clam... then realizes that was in a different dream. Category:Episodes Category:Warner, Home Video, 1997, VHS